There's always a light within

Matutulog na sana ako but when I checked my fb account, may nakatag sa akin na picture from a friend and an advocator of the cdo street tutorial, he made an article and published in Cagayan times (metroSpect). May ganito na pala sa city, napaka insensitive ko ata before lels! Ngayon ko lang nalaman ang magazine na ito, nag-eexist pala. Haha sorry kasi ang nababasa ko madalas eh ibang mag at newspaper. Pero natuwa ako dahil yong Christmas party sa cdo street tutorial eh na-featured, yong picture na napost ko sa aking blog (sila ang kukulay ng ating pasko) yon ang ginamit para sa article. Yong nakapink na nakatayo ako nga yon! Lels! Walang duda, kasing taba ng puso ko ang katawan ko! Hahaha

I would to thanked and congratulate everyone! All of us, part tayo dito and the learning I got from this experience will surely go a long way from here. a part of me will always be to those kids who gave me a reason to smile and help me push my dream more.

here's the link for the article (MetroSpect-The CAGAYAN TIMES)

 

Tambling ang mataba na puso

Dahil sa bagong discovery ko na pagiging inggiterah sa mga post ng year end, kinarer ko na teh! I scanned my fb again and again kung ano ang nangyari sa buhay ko for 2012 and beng! Beng! Bang! May nakita akong dapat hindi na Makita and bigla akong nalungkot! (ang napapala sa pagiging inggeterah! Haha) momove on na ako teh! haha

People always dream to have a lasting relationship but this people have ever ask kayah ba nila? (anak ni pokwang! Parang lasing lang ako sa English! Eemo na kasunod nito! Haha) natanong ko na kasi yan minsan dahil yong personality ko ang problema, syadong strong at nakaka-intimidate ako sa marami lalo naman sa mga lalaki! (ganyan! Echos panakot!) kaya ko naman magtagal but ang tanong kaya ban g tao magtagal sa personality ko! (ober da bakod haha) I know kasi God won’t give you everything in this world. Malakas ang kutob ko successful ako sa career ko, sa pangarap ko, yong dream ko na magsasalita sa harap ng buong tao, hindi lang isang bansa nasa likod ko pero marami (to clear, hindi yan politician! Haha) makapagtravel ng libre sa buong mundo pero failed ako sa relationship! Hahaha tan-enah! Yon pa naman ang pinakamasaya! Charos! 

dalawang tao lang ang alam kong kinaya niyang patamblingin ang ugali ko at hindi na nagwork din for some reasons na madali lang maintindihan ng iba. (ganyan! Char haha) oo, simply ang reason pero mahirap tanggapin. Nahihirapan ako those moment sa life ko but dahil na rin sa pagiging busy ko, nakakalimutan ko na pero may mga pagkakataon pa rin that reminds me of him pero echos lang yon! Haha honestly, meron talaga pero its not like before na hindi talaga ako nakakatulog (may ganyang arteh!), nasobrahan lang ako sa kapeh siguro sa mga panahong iyon!

People say na ang babae ang hinahanap nila ay yong tulad ng tatay nila, ang lalaki tulad ng nanay nila. Impossible isipin pero totoo yon, ang nag-aatract sa babae at lalaki ay mga qualities na nakikita nila sa magulang nila dahil ito ang kinalakihan nila. Charing! Para sa akin it happened, sa kapatid ko ganon din. May pressure slight kapag ang nakikita mong magulang ay buong nagmamahalan, no lies and even my mom died already, ayaw ng mag-asawa ni pader! (good kasi pasok sa banga ang babaeng yon! Uunahan pa kami ng kapatid ko! Haha)

Sa 2013, ayoko ng maghope, but nakakahawa minsan sila sis arline at ang mga pugi na si jon, archie, rix, tonio, cyron, bagotilyo, empi, pao, at bino na hopeful talaga sila sa 2013. Parang ngayon ko lang narealize na come what may nalang ako! Hahaha madami pang mangyayari sa buhay ko basta hindi pa end of the world, baka sa susunod hindi lang tambling ang kaya gawin ng taong darating baka pwedi na rin siyang umakyat sa coconut tree para kumuha ng buko at coconut para sa aking buhok pang hot oil. Haha

Iba ang nagagawa kapag may sakit kung ano-ano ang naiisip. Lels!

Ano ang reality mo sa buhay ngayon...

Ang isshare ko now – reality check sa buhay. Iba kasi nagtapos ang araw ko kahapon sa office and naconnect sa usapan namin ng sissy ko when we went out last night. i know that we have our own fields sa buhay, kanya-kanyang profession, gusto at hilig. Pero tanong ko, isa lang, haha what do you know about the profession na social worker? As in registered social worker? I just laughed when people answered na taga bigay ng bigas, relief kapag may disaster! Ganon lang yon? Hahaha may bagong trend naman ngayon, kapag sinabi social worker konek right away sa 4ps teh! Hahaha hindi ha! It’s beyond that sa totoo lang hehehe "from womb to tomb" sabi ng iba kasi lahat ng social problems, yon ang hinaharap namin! lels! kinarer! I cannot read mind and thoughts but I can assess bakit ang isang tao naging problema sa society natin, bakit may mga bata nasa institution, mga taong palaboy, addict etc... Saka na yang lecture na yan haha let’s go back. I  just wanted to share this para maiba naman, hindi emo ang ikukwento ko, hindi rin joke! Haha lels!

In the office we deal with a lot of social problems, everyday different situations, people and stories. Maawa ka minsan, maiinis ka. So kailangan malaking unawa para maintindihan sila pero teh! Minsan talaga dahil tao lang tayo, nagagalit ka rin and hindi mo maiiwasan ang situation na yan, walang santo sa mundo, if meron man pakilala mo sakin! Hahaha

About to end na kahapon, around 3:30 pm, may babae dumating, yong kasama ko talked to her, chika galore, humihingi ng pambayad sa hospital kasi nanganak! Ok naintindihan ang aspeto na iyan, PERO siya na yong nanganak, siya pa ang naghahanap ng pambayad ng hospital. Siya ha na kakapanganak pa lang, yong kasama kong kumausap sa kanya, nakikita ko na ang mukha na ALAM ko na! alam ko ng naiinis na siya.

Umalis ang babae… after 30 minutes bumalik.

May problema si ateh ulit! Wala silang pagkain. At take note, siya ulit ang pumasok sa opisina na kakapanganak pa, yong anak niya nasa hospital, naka-incubator pa. imagine? Siya na kakapanganak siya pa ang humingi ulit ng pagkain, siya ang magbibitbit ng bigas na ibibigay ng opisina. Ang tanong SAAN ANG ASAWA niya?! My officemate keep on asking saan ayaw niya magsalita, AT!!! Hindi lang pala unang anak yon teh! Wag ng itanong sakin kasi alam kong mas kukulo ang dugo niyo! Hahaha everyday ganyan ang mga situations na-eencounter namin, and slight pa lang yan, minsan may mga mentally challenge na nagdadala ng bomba-bombahan daw iyon at pasasabogin ang opisina namin, kuh teh! Nakakalukah! Kaya nakakastress talaga sa opes!

Si kapated naman ay isang nars!

Na-assign sa isang government hospital. Unang field, sa ob ward (different gov’t hospital) ngayon nasa suite room naman (another gov’t hospital) sa OB ward, sabi niya, laging no stock ang nakalagay sa mga resita ng pasyente niya so kailangan bilhin sa labas. Matagal daw bumabalik ang nauutusan bumili ng gamot, hindi lang minsan, madalas yan. Maya ko na kwento kong bakit, bitin slight muna teh! ngayon sa suite room naman, hindi daw sila naglalagay ng NS dahil iba ang policy.  Dahil nasa suite room sila, walang rason hindi sila makakabili ng gamot. (Check!) yong sa ob ward naman, matagal bumabalik kasi walang pambili, kailangan pang hanapin, at utangin sa mga kapitbahay nila o kamag-anak para mabili ang gamot kahit mefenamic lang yan, oo mefenamic pain reliever that cost na wala pang ten pesos pero walang pambili. Reality like this must see the government pero ewan ko ba! Nasa gobyerno ako at nakikita ko anong systema nila, wala ako sa position to raise that issue. The government turn deaf about it, as always! Our political system ay isang malaking factor na nakakahinder ng development sa community. (ma-shoot to kill na ako nito! Haha tama nayan!)

Sabi ni kapated, kapag sa ward nagkamali ang isang nars, wala ng tanong ang mga pasyente, pero kapag yong mga pasyente nasa suite room at nagkamali ang nars, nagrereklamo. Those patients or clients as common we used, sa opisina yan pumupunta kapag wala ng pambayad, we can assess them, we can link them to other line agency na pwedi tumulong sa kanila. Minsan ‘tong si kapatid, dahil sa awa ng mga patients niya sa ob ward dati, marunong ng gumawa ng love letter para sakin stating na “ate, please help kasi kawawa naman!” ganyan ang feeling at ugali namin kasi pinalaki at pinakain kami ng isang social worker licensed, yong nanay ko! Oo, yong mommy ko ay isang social worker kaya alam namin bakit may taong mayaman at mahirap, iba-iba ang ugali, pananaw sa buhay, gusto sa buhay, saan galing ang mga problema nila etc.. Pero ang lahat-lahat ay isang choice, a choice to be made na yan ang gusto mo maging sa sarili mo. amen! Hahaha

May acido ata sa dugo ko

I am trying to hold my patience to peple na walang ginawa but to pull you down, doesn’t like what you do, naiinggit, at ayaw magpatalo sa mga simpleng bagay. Gusto ko man harapin ang mga taong ganyan, I just can’t. tan-eneng minsan tong new course pinasukan ko dahil the first principle is “acceptance” tanggapin lahat ng tao dahil bawat tao ay unique, may kanya-kanyang ugali at values na pinamana ng mga magulang nila, this principle hold my values, nurtured me to be a better person din! Pigil na pigil na ako sa lagay na ito ha! Hahaha I just don’t care anymore what other people say this time, hindi tulad dati na super reaction paper ako, iyak kagad, ganon ako ka-weak, ngayon nasobrahan, naging bato slight! Para lang sa mga tao yan na makapal ang mukha!! Pero sa mga tao, bata at matanda nasa daan or institution, kung pwedi lang ayaw ko ng tingnan o kausapin kasi di ko mapigilan umiyak! Hahaha chos!! Totoo! Walng jowk! Hahaha hindi ko kayah teh!!

Mahapdi ang mga dugo na dumadaloy sa katawan ko now! meganun talaga! Dagdag pa ang background na kanta “I’m almost over you!” lenteks na pag-eemo nakakadala nga! Ayoko na nito! Dumudugo na pati ilong ko! Hindi na ako bitter sa pagkakaalam ko pero nakakamiss naman yong tao minsan, the things you two used to do! (alam ko ang nasa isip mo, hindi yon! Oki? Hahaha) aray na aray ako talaga ngayon! Hahaha bakit ba kasi may background music pa while nagbblog ako! Dagdag hapdi sa katawan lang! kahapon until kanina, slight inis na inis ako sa kasama kong pakialamera tapos ng dahil sa kanta, ito shifted into different mood. Resilient ako eh walang makikialam! Hahaha Parang gusto ko ‘tong mood na emo-emohan kaysa nagagalit ako, tatanda ako maaga teh!! Hahaha malapit na akong maiyak dito sa opisina dahil dito sa “can’t you see – tiffany” hahahaha pigil na pigil na ako mga teh!! Malapit na talaga to!!

Stop, stop, stop… ayoko na! hahaha tanggap ko na ha, in fairness to me, but heller naman baket di ko pa masyadong kereh ang mga love songs!! Mag 2013 na at mag-vavalentines na naman! Hahahaha ang bilis ng panahon! Wag lang mag end of the world, okay lang mag pag-asa pa! hahaha shonganga na ako, iba ang introduction ko sa ending phase ko!! Hahahaha ayaw pa rin tumigil ng kanta, kailangan ko na ata burahin ang mga kantang ‘to! Hahaha cold feet and hands ang nakukuha ko ngayon! Walang effect ang kapeh-kat na ininom ko habang ginagawa ko to!

Basta yan na yan ngayon, hahaha

Mabaon sa lupa dahil mabigat

Another year na naman at ang pagpapayat hindi ko pa natodo dahil sa aking schedule! Tan-eneng naman! Pero nabawasan naman ako ng konti! Konti lang! yes nalang keysa wala talaga!! Hahaha nagstop akong mag-gym at mag-jogging araw-araw dahil nga dina keri ang pagod at hirap. Nakakamiss rin kaya the first list ko for 2013, seryosong seryoso na ako nito dahil makikipagpustahan na ako ng 5k kung hindi pa ako papayat in 3 months’ time, babalik na talaga ako ng gym at mag-jojogging na araw-araw with sangkatutak na supplements pa para pumayat!! Hahaha yan na ang maging motivation ko ngayon dahil malapit na ang practicum days ko at ayoko mabaon sa lupa (dahil mabigat ako) kapag nag-heel ako! Hahaha

Susubukan ko na pala bukas gumising ng umaga at maglakad ng isang oras at 30 mins sa gym para maibalik ko ang dating routine ko. Sana lord, wag akong tamarin! Lels! Kapag gusto, magagawa naman! Kapag tinatamad, matulog ulit! Hahaha seryoso na talaga ito para na rin sa kinabukasan ko! Hahaha kung ako ang naglalaway sa ex ko, bukas sigurado akong magseizure pa siya at effortless ang mga laway na tumutulo! Hahaha assuming naman ako doon bah!! Hindi ako ampalaya! Hahaha

Masaya ang buhay dito sa blogspero dahil tumatambling man ang grammar mo, yes pa rin! Walang salpukan at saksakan, dahil naniniwala ako sa bawat bloggero may kanya-kanyang diskarte at sariling isip to show off what they really got. Lately, consistent akong nagpopost ng entry at dahil yan sa inyo, kayo ang aking inspirasyon (naks, tutulo na sipon ko! Haha) para ibahagi ko ang aking life kahit hindi pa tayo nagkikita in person.

ito na ang dinukot ko dahil
sabi ni pao-kuneho
ang profile pic yan ang
pinagmamalaki natin!! hahaha

Salamat kay Mr. Archie dahil sa contest-contest na yan na una kong sinalihan, nanalo pa ako! Hahaha lilibre daw niya kami ng ek, yaman naman ni archie! Lels!! Pero sa totoo lang, its not with the ek, gusto ko talaga siyang mameet (echos!! Hahaha gwapoh eh sabi niya yon!! Hahaha). hindi ko pa alam kailan and saan dahil nasa cagayan de oro ako, kumusta naman iyon, i will cross the ocean ang drama ko nito, hahaha una ko naging kaibigan si archie, unang blogger nakausap-usap ko sa twitter at sa fb dahil na rin ito sa pinoy bloggers outreach na yan. Maraming salamat sayo archie, I appreciated that pinili mo yong entry ko para sa contest mong “ano ang kulay ng iyong pasko!”

Ayan, sana maaga akong makatulog para maaga akong magising para makapagsimula ulit ng bagong buhay, makapagjogging na ulit!! Hahaha

My first Pic greetings to my fellow bloggers

Patapos na ang pasko at ihahabol ko ang mga pic greeting ko. Hehehe I just learned this sa mundo ng blog. Pasensya na sa drawing ko at sa sulat ko. Hindi ko man nagawan lahat pero hahabol ako ulit sa new year. Bibili ako ng mga coloring pens muna para mas maganda at makulay ang new year greeting ko sa lahat. hahaha once again, Merry Christmas sa lahat ng bumabasa ng aking blog.

paks ako ang natakot sa dami ng  mukha ko dito sa mga photos!! hahahaha first time ko ito so sinagad ko na. camera shy ako sa lagay na yan!! hahaha Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Sila ang kukulay ng ating pasko

Time management is always an issue to me this time. I worked, I go to school, I have other commitment also outside from school. My day is very productive as I may say it, just for today, taking a leave from work to take an exam and other commitment is not included in being “productive” hahaha I took leave because I have my 3 exams today, I went out with my papa and sissy for dinner, I ran to CdeO dv soria by 7pm because I have a commitment to attend the CdeO Street Tutorial Christmas Party.

Let’s take a review on what we did tonight…

Personally, I am happy to see innocent smiles, those smiles that cannot be bought. In kids’ heart, Christmas is giving of gifts. This is my first time to attend the Cdo Street Tutorial Christmas Party since our social work group only started last September I think. This is what I live in my life now, one hour of teaching the street kids every Wednesday only, 7 to 8 in the evening. Once a week, you gave a part of yourself to them and even a little I know I did something in the community and even I shared God’s love to these children.

This is also what I have been sharing to Mr. Archieviner since he shared in his post about that project piso na advocacy, (napakagandang plano ang ginawa nila para mamahagi ng tulong sa mga bata, lalo na sa white cross sa san juan) I opened up also, this Cdo Street Tutorial too, baka sakali one day maisipan ng mga bloggers na magpunta dito for a vacation, it would be a great opportunity na sa pagdalaw ng mga bloggers eh ito ang gagawin natin, ang magbigay ng kasayahan sa mga innocenteng bata sa kalsada.  Masarap ang tumulong, nakakagaan ito ng damdamin, at maramdaman mo rin na kahit yong soul mo, fulfilled din. Kaya I am inviting also bloggers who wanted to visit Cagayan de oro city na dumaan sa street tutorial para magbigay ng kanilang konting oras para magturo sa mga batang ito, pagkain lang kailangan nila, 500 pesos mapapakain mo na ang higit 20 na bata.

Masaya ang gabi namin, ramdam ko rin ang pagiging contento sa ano ang meron ako, at nagpapasalamat lalo sa mga bagay na naabot ko, nakita ko at natutunan ko, dahil I know this is also the way I can share my life sa iba.

Yong iba pang pictures ay nasa facebook ko, hindi ko ma-upload lahat dito dahil malamang mawawala na ang isang page ng blog ko for all the pictures. Hehehe anyway, basta all I know tonight, I want to do something more for these kids, I want to make a difference, kayo din, kaya niyo rin 'to, and I am also inviting you all guys, if may chance kayong pumunta dito sa cdeo, you can always contact me. I will find time and be available sa inyo. 

 

Napaisip ka rin ba nito?

I was reading the breaking news about the Connecticut shooting and it squeezed my heart. I am trying to hold up my tears while hearing the stories of the victims’ family. Innocent kids I remembered to be described by my late mother as “angels” for they were the ones, who light up the room, gave joy and happiness to parents. The world I believed is already in extreme confusion.

The news said that the gunman was troubled, he has a personality disorder and I know the mom did not denied it, in fact the mother was willing to help her child if needed. Kahit mahirap ang pilipinas, mayaman naman tayo sa values, pagmamahal ng pamilya. Pero minsan, hindi ko rin nakikita yan dahil madami pa ring mga bata nasa daan, napabayaan. Sa America, instant na ang lahat, completo pa, at advance sa mga technolohiya.

I believed in family is the basic unit in the society, it is the basic sa lahat ng bagay, ang pamilya din ang isa sa factor na bumuo ng pagkatao natin, kung ano ang values ng mga magulang natin ito ay nakukuha natin. Malamang, maraming tao sa mundo ngayon, hindi nakikita ang bagay na yan, but, I can say this kapag buo ang pamilya, maayos, wala ng masyadong social problems – wala ng prostitution, nakaw, street kids etc. kung sama-sama ang pamilya, magtutulongan walang imposible na maging maayos din ang anak nila.

Bakit ang isang doctor na tatay, may doctor na anak. Isang lawyer na tatay or nanay, may lawyer din na anak? Dahil ang anak ay laging tinitingala ang kanilang magulang. Isa na rin ako doon, ang mama ko ay isang social worker, at ako ngayon ay inaabot ang profession na yan. Madami akong tanong noon at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin nasasagot ang iba! Hahaha tan-enah! Unending question na talaga!

Sa America, kapag ang anak is in troubled, the state would see and blame it sa mga magulang kagad, sensitive sila na nasa magulang ang problema, kaya madalas ang mga ganyang case, napupunta sa counselling center para ma-iayos ang kailangan ayosin bago magkaron ng another problem. Dito sa pilipinas, walang ganyan. Kapag problematic ang anak, pinapagalitan! Ang anak pa ang sinisisi minsan dahil sadyang gagu or ugali na talaga! Hahaha that reality naman oo! Pero hindi sensitive ang mga magulang na ganyan ang kanilang anak dahil na rin sa kanila, kung ano ang nakikita ng anak while he is growing up, yan din ang gagawin kahit ang iba sasabihin na hindi ako tutulad sa mga magulang ko pero subconsciously speaking, nangyayari. One example I can share is yong tatay na nanapak ng anak at babae, pustahan tayo, nong bata pa yang tatay na yan, nakikita niya na ang nanay at tatay niya ay nagsasapakan kaya he used to it, he thinks that tama and okay lang. kaya like I have said, the world now is in extreme confusion and values is fading.

We both miss it

When I was in my first course in college, I have this guy bestfriend, I can defined him as refined, religious and funny.  We’ve seen our growth, we shared good and bad memories until situation parted our ways. We made a promise once that we will finish first our course bago mag-gf and mag-bf, I could still recall the 5 thousand pesos pustahan, whoever get into a relationship first will pay 5 thousand pesos. We’re still teenagers! We think that way! Hahaha

He was my bestfriend, and I was the last person to know nagkaroon siya ng girlfriend, and boom! I hated him so much that I wanted to throw him from the 5^th floor where our department belongs. I verbally expressed that I hate him, that he broke our usapan and I was really afraid that hindi siya makatapos dahil masisira ang buhay niya dahil sa pag-ggf! it’s not about the money but it’s loyalty and word of honor. Ang stupid ng isip ko noon! Hahaha now I realized how stubborn and selfish I was!! And it really happened, he stopped, he didn’t go to school anymore, I haven’t heard about him ever since.

A year or two I think, he came back to school, he tried to approach me but I was already closed. I still expressed my emotions that I was really mad at him. (i have no other reason of being mad except that promise, I don’t have any feelings for him!! He is just a friend to me!) Every time he wanted to talk to me, I refused and I openly express that he has no room in my life anymore. I lost him, she lost me.

More than 6 years had passed, maybe, I can’t count it. Our path crossed online, we talked sa ym, I even forgot na nag-away pala kami noon! Hahaha shit ang utak ko! Hahaha tan-enah!! He told me “I want to tell you that I consider you really as my bestfriend” and oh my god!! As in like, hell! I said “yeah, me too and I missed you” simple as that. Then our communication went off again because I keep on changing numbers at that time dahil may issue din ako sa own life ko! Hahaha and I know he is been busy also sa girlfriend niya, sa work and even his past time – online games.

Lately, I was online sa fb and I saw his updated profile, I come to like one of his updates and unexpectedly biglang beep! “hey musta?” and the conversation ended into having a coffee kapag may time. And I said “we need to catch up” and he replied “yah, a lot!” and I realized how many days of his lives I missed, the memories we should create, the laughter that we both shared and the ups and downs in his life being his best friend, I wish I was there walking with him.

Now we’re texting back again, just now and decided to meet tomorrow after how many years I avoided him, I ignored him. What I only wish now is I hope we could still patch things up and create new memories. Things may be different this time between us as best of friends, but let’s just see, kwento ko nalang bukas! Hahaha para may thrill naman! hehehe

Will be number 3, leaving number 2

I have been so busy the whole time, I forgot that it’s almost Christmas. Yeah, I know, I’ve seen a lot of decors already anywhere but because I live my life the way I want to, wala pa akong na-prepare for Christmas, i haven’t think something also for my birthday. It’s 28 days more to go and I’ll start number 3 end of number 2. Hahaha time is so fast when you are busy!

Everytime I opened my blog, may number one fan ako, walang post na wala siya, he always takes an effort to comment or leave something and I would like to thanked Archievinier sa walang sawa to leave his footsteps. At dahil wagi ka kuyah sa blog ko, ikaw ang first na hihingan ko ng Christmas Picture Greeting, (alam ko humihingi ka rin! Hahaha) Sali mo na rin ang Birthday greetings in the next 28 days ha! Hahaha aabangan ko yan! Kahit busy ang lola mo, sure yan marereceive ko sa email ko! (qlarrah@yahoo.com) Hahaha

I’ll hold and cross my finger that I can update my blog every day or every other day! nahuhuli na ako sa mga balita, I need to take an effort also to back read blogs. Ang dami ko pa naman kwento, I just don’t have enough time to make it. I need to keep this blog dahil nangarap pa naman ako magsulat ng libro 5 years from now! hahahaha libre mangarap! Kebs nalang! Hahaha

Need to fix bed now, time to sleep, it will be another day tomorrow!

Pablo Pablito Pabling

I traveled 4 municipalities yesterday and that took me a day. itong si Pablo gave reasons to people to panic. Lels!! I congratulate all the disaster team for the preparedness because in our city and province walang casualties like we had with sendong. Now they are doing better than before, now people learned their lessons too.

It was a hell fun when I got the chance to travel in our municipalities. Yesterday was different in all the travels I had in the past. My officemate said I was like hitting two birds in one stone because I brought with me my closest friends from school to conduct an interview to solo parents in the municipalities. While I was doing my job delivering the relief goods, I accompany them to visit the local social welfare office to interview a focal person on solo parents. I did my job as an employee; I also did my homework as a student. Hahaha simpleng diskarte lang yan!! I have to do it wala akong choice I have been very busy with this Pablo. Naku! Hahaha

I just couldn’t take this out of my head when my boss called me that morning. Like he said – ok ibigay mo kay mayor yan and “magpakodak!” ka ha, (take picture with the mayor) hahaha i tried not to laugh while talking to my boss hahaha he could have said it like “magpapicture ka ha” tan-enay!! Hahaha my boss can’t still get out of his head that “Kodak” hahaha he is not old though.

While on our way, nakakatakot because we were in the military truck and going to the municipality where doon daw sila nagkaroon ng ambush! When the driver told me that, don’t you think hindi ka maparanoid? Hahaha and he even added that “military truck at may sakay na army, mainit sa mga mata ng mga npa yan!” nah!!! In my thoughts. I wonder what would be my face when that will happen, or what will I do in case may npa nga, at saan ako pupunta. Hahaha it’s really fun thinking about it!! Hahaha

No school today. Yes!!! Feast of Immaculate Conception! Oh yeah!! Now I love My RVM School. Hahaha

That feeling you will never forget

Maniwala or hindi! Ang professor ko ay isang classmate ng nanay ko since 1^st year college until 4^th year sila! Tan-ena! bohahaha they are really good friends sabi nitong professor ko. Yeah, before he became my professor, I heard a lot already about him from my late mother. Almost 35 years since college day’s nila! Woo! Lahat ng sabi ng nanay ko, sinabi din ng professor ko, nyay! Sa harap pa ng buong klase! They don’t have any past, I know kasi I can read between the lines naman, so wala, wala naman akong narinig either.

I just couldn’t believe that all the things my mom did noon, inaani ko ang kabutihan niya today. This professor keeps telling everybody in the class that, yong nanay ko ang inu-utangan nila kapag wala silang pera kasi my mom is very lucky that time dahil yong tatay niya (lolo ko) eh president ng del monte Philippines before that’s why may kaya sila at ang nanay ko yata daw ang walang problema sa pera. I remember mom told me before that this professor I have now he will just eat “kamote” kasi wala pang pera na pinadala galing sa probinsya. Ngayon? Successful na siya sa profession niya, he managed almost 300 people I think in his department sa dswd. Would you believe that? At its always in my mind what my mom told me that this professor, nangongopya pa dati sa case studies nila just to submit requirements. It’s so funny kasi today everybody respects him, kinakatakotan at dekalidad na tao na si sir! Hahaha but si sir, he admitted to the class that when he was in college, yong mommy ko ang kinokopyahan nila! Tan-enas nuh!!

What happened to them way back in college, it happened the same with me today. It just so happened that I already have a job while studying again, that’s why yong mga classmates ko rin kapag gipit sila minsan, they would ask sa akin if I have spare. Anak talaga ako ng mommy ko! Hahaha I walked the same path she did!

This professor can’t stop saying good things to my mom kasi I know he is very grateful dahil sa oras ng kagipitan my mom was there for them to rescue and stayed with them sa hirap at ginhawa. I always feel that gratefulness and I am proud of what mom did to them. Tama ang sabi ni mommy that bilog ang mundo, dahil hindi all the time nasa baba ang isang tao, dahil nasa baba man siya ngayon, bukas nasa taas naman siya! ganon daw talaga ang buhay! and i stand to believe on that matter!

Pressure is in me now! Activated! Nganga ako nito!! I need to double time pa kasi kahit mom is not with us anymore, ayoko pa ring mapahiya ang mommy ko! Hahaha mataas ang expectation ng lahat tan-ena ang word na expectation! Nyay! Lels! Hahaha He is old now, almost 65 years old and about to retire that’s why he took the opportunity to teach in order to pass what he learned, no one follow his footstep kasi his daughter took the other road of success. When I told this professor, “I took up social work because I want to continue the legacy mom left us” and the only thing he said “dapat lang may susunod sa pamilya niyo!” (may slight tampo pa ang boses ni sir address to his daughters! Lels!) and if it’s possible to run fast to reach that goal, ginawa ko na! lels!

Isang araw balang araw

Nuh!! it’s a long week for me, started all my majors and still trying to fix my schedule for this semester. This is gonna be a tough semester with 6 majors and 4 minors. Goodluck to me! Lesson to keep now is how to balance my time, learn to have stress management though I’ve been watching movie series or movie as my stress management and that helps me rejuvenate.

It was Thursday when my teacher announced that we finally have a book to use for the medical social work subject (super happy kami sabay clap our hands and even we prayed to thanked that book!!! amay-ober that moment!! bohahaha) courtesy of my classmate too who happen to have an aunt in one of the government hospital in this city, who is also the head of the medical social services, we secretly grab the book for photocopy, the book is exclusive for the hospital and even before I know na bawal ipotocopy ang libro para pag-aralan dahil yon daw ang sabi ng head ng DOH ba yon. Madamot sila! Lels!!

377 pesos ang worth ng photocopy sa librong yon, makapal! Tan-ena! how will I finish to read that book, ang dami pang nakapila!! Bakit ba!! Kasalanan ko na dahil enter ng enter ako sa korsong to! Hahaha you know why I talked about this? Kasi before, the first course na kinuha ko, at hindi ako naging successful dahil sumuka na ako, maganda ang libro ko noon, hard bound, glossy, with a lot of pictures pa, sikat at mahal pero I never opened and read those books. Tamad talaga ako, since bata pa! bohahaha Ngayon dahil kulang ang resources namin, walang Filipino author na nagpaka-batman to make a book for the young social workers sa pilipinas dahil kapag social worker ka sobrang busy ka, halos wala ka ng oras sa pamilya dahil sa dedikasyon sa trabaho! Over na over! Maniwala ka! Totoo yon! isang araw balang araw wag naman sana mangyari sa akin ang ganyan ka-busy! hahaha 

Lumang libro at author ang pinagtyagaan namin, kung noon ang sarap ng libro ko, maganda tingnan, dekalidad ang mga author dahil mga foreigner, ngayon to compare it, mas binigyan ko ng importance to read books out from photocopies nalang! Hahaha napaka IRONIC to me! Because when I have good and great books, I don’t scan them, now we only have photocopies, mas nagtyaga ako! Tan-ena! hahaha I just don’t have a choice dahil sa tan-enang expectation na yan kaya kailangan laging handa!! Hahaha at kailangan maabot ko ang pangarap kong maging tulad ni d-soliman balang araw!!! Bohahaha

Libro over YOU

Libro? There are a lot of people na sobrang galing when it comes to memorizing the books, lessons, theories, principles, etc. pero pagdating sa real na buhay? Bagsak! Books are only our basis, foundation of learning, but experience is the best teacher of all. I am not intelligent but I know i can do something beyond what I read in books and what my teachers taught me in school. Minsan it's in our values also on how we treat other people, how we learn in life. my course? This represents reality, true to life stories and real sentiments of the people..

I hate reading books but I have to dahil mataas ang expectation ng ibang tao sa akin, yes, I don’t have to live up with that expectations but para na rin sa sarili ko, ayokong mapahiya! I am older, mga teenager yong mga classmates ko, I am working in the government in an agency where this course will put me. They are really expecting that alam ko kahit I know for myself na hindi lahat ng bagay ay alam ko at kaya ko.

here’s one to ponder…

a boy came home from school, he got an excellent award in English from his teacher, he told his daddy about it. This boy had a Spanish yaya named maria, the boy told his yaya na may ganitong award ka ba? And the yaya noded. The boy asked his yaya again, do you know how to speak English well? Again his yaya, noded. The boy went back to his daddy and sabi niya, I am good, I am the best and why is it maria doesn’t know how to speak in English? she is old, she must know it.

His dad went to the library with the boy…

The father grabbed a book in his shelf, he opened it and ask the boy, do you know how to read this? The boy answered, NO! sabi ng daddy niya, you know how to speak in English, maria doesn’t, but maria knows to speak in Spanish very well and you don’t. The boy was silent…

This means that hindi lahat ng bagay ay alam natin, we have our own strength but we also have our weaknesses. We may be good at some things but not for all the things. Yan ang totoo sa buhay, it’s not because you are good in science, magaling ka na gumawa ng drugs! Lels! Hahaha that boy realized it and kapag may achievement yong boy, he always remembered maria dahil hindi lahat ng bagay ay magaling tayo!

 

Sunday's best now

It’s Sunday! It’s rest day! It’s family day! i learned to value that after I realized I was hooked up with work and school. I still work on school stuff even Sundays, I can’t refuse it when in terms of school papers and exams. I am trying to adjust my entire schedule now, learning to stay at home kapag Sunday, having coffee with my sissy and tita, lunch with my father and a simple dinner too. It’s a nice a feeling, I just felt it kasi naging visible na ako sa bahay! Hahaha I cooked to feel that I belong to the family, kasi parang nasa ibang bansa kami kapag weekdays, we bought our food sa labas, everything is rush kapag may trabaho.

 When I started to go back to school a year and a half now, binago ko lahat, my views, habit, the way I think to some things, attitude, everything I learned to change it dahil for me, I cannot touch others’ lives, make difference, or help them change their views if sa sarili ko I am still the same. I am changing for good, honestly! Hahaha if dati I don’t read my books, now I learned to read more, wala akong choice! Tan-ena! if you don’t read, nga-nga! Na nga-nga! Ka sa klase! And nakakahiya kasi ako ang ate sa klase, may work na related sa course so simple lang mataas ang expectation nila! Hahaha

I just added something sa change na yan, I will learn more to keep Sunday free from work and school stuff. Sana! It’s good to be home, lying in your bed, reading, blogging, etc. and guess what, I learnt it too na kapag weekend, off ang celphone ko! Hahaha yan! Para walang istorbo! No clients, no emergencies from school and work! It’s just me, family and my home! Sarap!!!  

How will you understand them?

One of the challenges I encountered every day in my life especially in the office is yong you are talking to different people and hearing different sentiments in their life, I may say we have problems but if we look into the bigger picture, there are more na mas mabigat at mahirap ang problema if you are just sensitive enough to lend your ears.

There are a lot of cases every day, there are also common, but one thing I assure you is, they have different stories. You know, if you are a psychology graduate or studying psych, social work or even sociology you will understand most of the things that Is happening around us, we are sensitive to things, situations and even our own family situations, we are very careful to that. But to those na walang background, it doesn’t matter at all, other people in the rural to be specific, their only priority is mapakain ng tatlong beses ang pamilya nila in one day, swerte na yon if three meals na.

I met a lot of people already, mayaman at mahirap, pero isa lang ang narealize ko all this time working, pare-pareho tayo ng nararamdaman when our immediate family goes to the hospital, walang mahirap at mayaman if you have a deadly disease. The difference between the government hospital and the private, it’s too big, pero hindi lahat ng nakaprivate hospital, lahat nakakabayad, dahil sa laki ng bill, kailangan mangutang or magsangla ng property para mailabas ang kanilang pasyente. Sa government naman, maliit ang bayad, madami ka pang pweding puntahan to pay the remaining amount of the bill pero kailangan mong mag-tiis at makipagsiksikan sa hospital.

One of the most challenging cases I have handled is yong nag-lalabor, young age, teenager, may ka-live in partner at ang haharap sayo, mga magulang pa rin nila and when you ask them a question “how old are you nanay when you had your first child?!” ang sagot “kasing edad ng anak kong nanganak, mam!” history repeats itself?! tama ba ako? Oo kasi yon ang nakikita nila, yon ang naririnig nila and these children thought that it’s right, minsan ang iba they made an excuse na hiwalay ang magulang at kailangan nila ng kasama. Ikaw, pano mo isipin ang ganyang situation? Is it acceptable? Reasonable? Justifiable? Ako, depende yan, kasi there are cases naman na rape victim, nabuntis, hindi acceptable pero walang may gustong ma-rape!

May mas challenging at nakakainis sa lahat, 42 years old, gave labor to her 13^th child, kasabay ang anak niyang naglalabor din for her 1^st child, means apo na niya yon. Ngayon, kaya  mo bang intindihin ang mga taong tulad nila? Then the person na haharap sa’yo is yong tatay na parang wala lang, they don’t even think of ano ang ipapakain nila sa anak nila. They are just one of those kind of people na na-eencounter ko every day sa buhay ko, this gave me the reason to aim more, dream hard para one day, I know I can’t change the world, I can’t change everything but at least I could share something that is worth to live in this world.

This sharpens your brain!

With my allergy attack na naging super OA na, nakapag-absent ako sa work! Pffftt! While at home, I take the chance to finish watching the “suits” I so love both of them, Harvey and mike! Can’t stop, it’s addictive. I should finish the complete season 2 if weren’t for my classmates who texted me that we have a class by 4pm to 5:30 instead of 5:30-8:30. Caught in the middle! I only have 30 minutes to prepare myself, it’s 3:00 and I know I will be late.

after ritual and preparation... umalis na ako ng bahay.

Malas pa! I was waiting for a taxi pero wala! None pass infront of me!! Can you actually believe that in a city!? Ohh shaaxx!! It leaves me no choice but to ride a jeepney, in the middle of the city, there goes the traffic jam! When I realized I can’t get through with it, I stop, bumaba ako! I look for a motorcycle and shits again, no one is available to take me to school, it’s not their route, so I decided again to look for taxi, it took me 3 minutes waiting, oh thank I thought God wouldn’t answer my prayer!

I arrived 4:25 pm at the gate and I know I am sooo late with that, it’s the first day of class, my major! Shit I thought! Hahaha i ran into the lobby, up to the third floor, hiningal pa ako! When Im about to reach the classroom door, here’s the checker! (super inday as we call her, because she does a lot of things, she’s good, before you say it, she handed it to you!) for the faculty attendance, and boom! “you are super late!” I just couldn’t say something kasi hiningal pa ako! I got in, and guess what? Hindi pa nagsisimula yong clase! Nagtaxi pa ako! Hahaha Nagbayad ng 70 pesos para hindi ako malate! Sayang! Inisip ko nalang na kinain ko yong 70 pesos at hindi na ako nagdinner sa school para tipid na rin! Hahaha

Si Harvey at mike lang ang pwedi kong i-blame sa nangyari! I got hooked with episodes 1-8. I finished the 9 and 10 when I got home. Episode 9 broke me! I cried I felt it! It’s all done now, going to miss them until January of 2013. You must see it! It sharpens your brain! It did to me! Hahaha